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It’s hard to set boundaries because the only pain worse than being hurt by people, is being shown the pain that you’ve caused to others. Boundaries are not an attack, they are a mirror. And just because you’re the one holding up the mirror as a shield, that does not mean it’s your pain to carry. If you’re considering setting boundaries with someone close to you, you’re likely feeling attacked and looking for a way to start playing defense against stonewalling, criticism, defe

If the key to a good relationship was communication, then why do you keep having the same fight? You’ve probably been hit with the cliche, “communication is key,” and that’s generally good advice, but I think we can agree that sometimes our language causes more harm than good, especially during conflict. So what do we do when our words aren’t enough? We need to understand that even though a picture is worth 1000 words, 1000 words will never give us the full picture. So when w

So I hear you have a crush on someone! Things are going pretty well between you. I mean... you're getting married! Let me be the first to say congratulations. As a relationship counselor, I believe in love, but I'm also a pretty big skeptic. A lot of engaged couples know that "marriage takes work" and that the "honeymoon phase will wear off." I'm sure other people around you seem to think they know more about your relationship than you do. I'm not going to pretend to underst

Happy New Year! I’m sure you’re working hard at your resolutions, but don’t forget that Valentine's Day is next month! Pssst.. It’s February 14th. Don’t get so stuck in the #2026grindset that you are stuck calling in for reservations last minute. Small Rant: on’t be one of those guys who goes on a rant about consumerism, Hallmark, and that you should be romantic 365 days a year and blah blah blah... You’re lame. Buy them some flowers, damn it! Also, buy them from a small busi

Panic attacks feel dangerous, but they’re usually a false alarm, and the alarm can be turned off. There’s no perfect way to stop a panic attack, and luckily your body doesn’t need perfection, it needs regulation. Here’s what’s happening when you’re panicking: your adrenaline is spiking and you’re moving into fight, flight mode. Disclaimer: If you’re actually in an unsafe environment, like being chased by a bear, the panic response is really helpful. It gives you the energy an

We did it! Kansas City has been ranked as the worst city for dating relationships! I’d tell you to give yourself a pat on the back, but that’s actually against the point I’m trying to make. There were many reasons cited in the journal as to the reason for such a high ranking such as the spread-out city, relatively low population of young singles, and fewer dating venues. This is a social issue, not a personal one. I can imagine a lot of people struggling with loneliness are c

It’s hard to pull yourself up by the bootstraps when you’re wearing Chacos. Don’t worry, this blog is not about Gen-Z and their obsession with comfort and fashion. It’s about a new generation of values around ruggedness. Now, I’m not an economist, but I think we’ve all heard our elders talk about when gas used to be a few cents. We’re not there anymore, and the pathway to an older generation's idea of success is no longer on the table for most. We can’t fully inherit the boot

Before we learn how to speak our feelings with language, we learn how to process them with play. Our bodies, our behaviors, and how we engage with the world around us, not only help us to communicate, but they connect us to ourselves and others. I have a big interest in a form of counseling called Play Therapy. Now I’m not certified in this work (yet), but I find it to be fascinating. Play therapists work mostly with children to help them do many of the same things that adult